Fat fix isn’t government’s responsibility

Freedom New Mexico In case the drug war wasn’t enough government boondoggle, we have a new war on food abuse. Despite the portion of Americans who work hard to stay fit, an estimated 129.6 million Americans, or 64 percent, are fat. The fat war started about 10 years ago, when government nutritionists stopped issuing reports […]

Regular church attendance can make you fat

Curtis Shelburne Have you heard the latest “health” news? It seems that going to church—I mean really going, so regularly that folks notice when you’re absent—not just going at Christmas and Easter and whenever completely convenient and the barometric pressure is right and none of the kids are kicking balls and no relatives are visiting […]

Amos the church mouse: the fat mouse dilemma

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation. boss i ve decided neverto talk to freddy the fleaanymore he called me a big fat mouse the otherday and made me mad so i called him askinny little tickbut somehow it didn thave the […]

Living in ‘fatosphere’ has good, bad points

By Anita Doberman I recently stumbled upon an interesting article in the New York Times about something called the fatosphere. Yes, those who inhabit this corner of cyberspace insist on calling it the fatosphere, where fat is in, or at least not as out as it used to be. The people who frequent this space […]

“Fatosphere” has good, bad points

By Anita Doberman: CNJ Columnist I recently stumbled upon an interesting article in the New York Times about something called the fatosphere. Yes, those who inhabit this corner of cyberspace insist on calling it the fatosphere, where fat is in, or at least not as out as it used to be. The people who frequent […]

Dec. 13, 1943

Mrs. Grace Rucker, an employee with the J.C. Penney Co., won the weekly “Most Courteous Clerk” title in a weekly contest sponsored by the Clovis News Journal. … According to the American Fat Salvage Committee, Inc., housewives would be given two meat ration points in addition to 4 cents for each pound of used household […]

Biodiesel plant will produce fuel from animal fat

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American Renewable Fuels, a subsidiary of Australian Renewable Fuels, plans to locate the plant at the Clovis Industrial Park in southeast Clovis. By Marlena Hartz: CNJ staff writer An Australian company plans to build a biodiesel plant in Clovis that has the capacity to produce 75 million gallons of biodiesel annually from animal fat, officials […]

5/26 amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes. a dieter s dilemma boss i ve decided never to talk to freddy the flea anymore he called me a big fat mouse […]

Governor’s jet new point of contention

By Ned Cantwell: State Columnist A friend who likes to get my goat will often ask “is Fat Boy going to give you a ride in his $5 million airplane?” Before we get to that question, loaded as it is with inference, let me point out that I do not have a goat. Further, I […]

Tahiti a must-miss for your vacation

By Bob Huber: CNJ Columnist Some folks yearn for a balmy life of lust and leisure on the island of Tahiti. But here at the Trendy Travel Bureau we’ve been studying this urge and have second thoughts about promoting the South Seas as a worthwhile tourist trap. For instance, Tahitians think the stomach is the […]

In the future, fat police take no prisoners

By Bob Huber: Local Columnist Notes from a historian of the future: Here at the Corporation for Better Health through Chemistry, we in the history department are researching the ill-fated Fat Revolt of 2004. Our investigation uncovered several first-person accounts, all written in brown gravy. To clearly define the opposing forces of that historic event […]

Santa Claus has his own Christmas story

By Ned Cantwell Some years back this writer landed an exclusive interview with Santa Claus and wrote the following report that was, surprisingly, snubbed by CNN but published elsewhere. Ned Cantwell: So, Santa, if you had to do it over again, would you change anything? Santa Claus: Heavens, yes. This whole fat-guy-at-the-North-Pole image was a […]

Liars deserve frogs in their briefcases

Clyde Davis It had been unseasonably warm in western Pennsylvania the autumn of our seventh-grade year. And by the time our church’s fall mission conference rolled around in early November, we still had not had a freeze. That is important in this story, as is the briefcase, and the fact that the speaker who came […]

Would you like fruit and yogurt parfait with that?

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Wanda Montoya (left) and Kayleigh King work at Subway, where officials claim to offer healthy sandwiches. CNJ staff photo: Darrell Todd Maurina Gary Mitchell Fast-food restaurant officials say they are offering healthier fare these days — meals that will still tempt the tastebuds as the fat and calorie content of their core products come under […]