Aug. 20, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Michael Phelps hinted Monday that he might compete in the London Olympic Games in four years. He just set seven world records and won eight gold medals. So you see, John Edwards isn’t the only man who hasn’t evolved, Michael Phelps is still a fish. • President Bush […]

Aug. 19, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush is clearing brush in Texas this week while his father is racing boats in Maine. They’re so competitive. We had one President Bush who oversaw the fall of the Soviet Union and another President Bush who helped get it back on its feet. • President Bush […]

Aug. 18, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush left on vacation Friday with the Russian army still terrorizing Georgia. He declared that the Cold War is over. It’s okay with most people if the president goes back to drinking but for everyone’s sake he’s got to stop doing comedy. • Wall Street rallied on […]

Aug. 17, 2008

BEVERLY HILLS–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush went to CIA headquarters in Virginia Thursday to get a briefing on the situation in Georgia from CIA officials. What they said was exactly what he suspected. They told him that Saddam Hussein ordered the invasion of Georgia. • Sterling Hayden was revealed Friday to […]

Aug. 15, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • U.S. Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps astounded reporters in Beijing Tuesday when he revealed that he eats 12,000 calories of food every day. So what is the problem? You’re either representing the United States of America or you’re not. • China said Tuesday it distributed 100,000 to the […]

Aug. 13, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • John Edwards said Friday he didn’t commit adultery until he was sure his wife’s cancer was in remission. It made headlines worldwide. One day history will record that World War III began when Russia invaded Georgia and nobody noticed for three days. • Brett Favre drew 4,000 fans […]

Aug. 12, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush spent the entire weekend in Beijing enjoying the Olympics. He’s such a sports fan. When he heard that Russia had invaded Georgia, the only thing President Bush wanted to know was whether the Atlanta Braves were home or on the road. • China interrogated all reporters […]

Aug. 11, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Elvis Presley’s peacock jumpsuit was sold Thursday for $300,000 at auction. It sold to an undisclosed buyer in New York. When Bill Clinton makes his entrance at the Democratic National Convention you can see it for yourself. • Barack Obama took off on vacation in Hawaii for a […]

Aug. 10, 2008

BEVERLY HILLS–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush will go to an evangelical Christian church in Beijing on Sunday that’s apocalyptic in its doctrine. The grass on the lawn is 10 inches high. The church is so certain the end is near they haven’t paid the landscapers in three months. • President Bush […]

Aug. 8, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Paris Hilton won praise Thursday for her mock campaign ad calling for offshore drilling and tax breaks for electric car makers. The candidates are just lucky she’s not old enough to run. She combines the most electable qualities of both Clintons. • China will host the opening ceremony […]