Jan, 24, 2009

BEVERLY HILLS – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Pittsburgh Steeler fans were offered four added flights to the Super Bowl city of Tampa Thursday. The city has two airports. U.S. Airways is based in Pittsburgh and they will let each person select where they want to land, the Allegheny or the Monongahela. • […]

Jan. 23, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • J. Crew was swamped with orders for the peacoats Barack Obama’s daughters wore to the Inauguration. All the orders crashed its website. This recession will be over in a month if we can just get the girls to wear Buicks to the State of the Union. […]

Jan. 22, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Senator Dianne Feinstein emceed the Inaugural ceremony Tuesday. She accidentally mispronounced a word. She announced that the Chief Justice would execute the Oaf of Office and two Secret Service agents jumped in front of President Bush to save him. • President Obama attended St. John’s Episcopal […]

Jan. 21, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • U.S. Airways pilot Sully Sullenberger was asked to attend the Inauguration after he became a national hero in New York Friday. He belonged at the inauguration of Barack Obama. This gives us one guy who walks on water and one guy who lands on it. • […]

Jan. 19, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush’s poll numbers improved in his last week in office Friday. He’s made us much safer. The year he took office airliners were flying into New York skyscrapers, and thanks to his efforts they are now landing safely on the Hudson River. • Captain Sully […]

Jan. 18, 2009

BEVERLY HILLS – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush gave a farewell speech to the country Thursday. He gave himself a lot of credit for keeping America safe for the last seven years. Thanks to his policies, airliners now crash into New York City with nothing but a few minor injuries. • […]

Jan. 16, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Osama bin Laden issued a tape Tuesday saying Americans are glad President Bush is leaving because he led us into two guerrilla wars and into financial chaos. He’s been living in a cave so long he’s forgotten something. Nobody likes an I-told-you-so. • Cuba was favored […]

Jan. 15, 2008

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Hillary Clinton sailed through Senate confirmation hearings Tuesday. She didn’t blink when asked how she will handle the world’s hot spots. You can’t be married to Old Faithful for 33 years and not know something about geothermal energy. • President Bush will give his farewell speech […]

Jan. 14, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Goodwill Industries said Monday it’s doing a huge business selling formal wear for the Inaugural balls. There’s a reason everyone’s going to thrift shops to buy their formal wear. You need a credit score of at least 700 to rent a tuxedo. • President Bush gives […]

Jan. 13, 2009

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama repeated his call for college football playoffs Friday. This year was the last straw. Everyone agrees that it’s utterly pointless to play an entire college football season just to have the national crown given to Caroline Kennedy. • President Bush will present Tony Blair […]