Have to go deeper to break Twitter

There are plenty of truths about this life.

Congress is never motivated to pass a bill more than when the August recess looms.

Everybody has a favorite adult’s cereal and a favorite kid’s cereal (Multi-Grain Cheerios and Rice Krispies Treats for me).

Also, nothing will break Twitter. If the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death didn’t do it, and Ellen Degeneres’ selfie at the Oscars didn’t break Twitter, nothing will.

Sorry, Ian Ziering. The former “Beverly Hills 90210” star jokingly made the prediction Tuesday on the “Today” show. He was there to promote the SyFy Channel’s new movie, “Sharknado 2: The Second One.”

The movie, which airs tonight, is the sequel to a movie that I can only guess was created through an escalating series of dares. A tornado develops at the ocean and picks up sharks on the way.

Side note: Ziering, star of the “Sharknado” series on a basic cable network, was brought on “Today” three segments before Tony nominee Chris O’Dowd and Emmy winner Brendan Gleeson came to speak about “Calvary.” This is why we can’t have nice things.

Back to Sharknado. The first movie was roundly mocked well before it aired. I mean, the movie was called “Sharknado.” But once it aired, everybody figured out the creators and the actors were in on the joke.

Twitter went crazy. Some Hollywood A-listers were working on a script for the sequel, before the movie ended. Some other Tweets included:

“Just got a call from the 2nd A.D. on the movie I’m filming. Call time canceled tomorrow. ALL movies canceled. It’s done. #SharkNado” — Patton Oswalt

“We’re ready to respond if there is a #Sharknado. If it were to happen, it would be in Oklahoma. Why? Because we’re tough like that.” — The Oklahoma Red Cross. Yes, really.

“#sharknado is proof that in life there are no bad ideas.” — Michael Mittelman

“Twenty minutes in, and we FINALLY have Tara Reid. They held her out like Brando in “Apocalypse Now”. #Sharknado” — Mike McGee

There are thousands more. And there will be thousands more tonight. But Ziering, who was a mix of amazed and dumbfounded by the social media reaction to the first “Sharknado,” won’t see Twitter break.

No, Ian, we have to go deeper.

Big screen release. Crowds going to theaters, throwing down a $20 bill and saying, “Two for ‘Sharknado,’ please.”

Oscar nomination. Multiple categories.

The envelope, please. The best picture winner is … Sharknado.

That might break Twitter.

Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Clovis Media Inc. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by email:
kwilson@cnjonline.com