Amos the churchmouse: Little mouse from nowhere

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer
keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

boss there s a strange little
creature roaming around the
church pew underworld nowadays

he came to our neighborhood
three days ago boss dressed in
what looked to be a tattered
burlap bag held together by
red rubber bands and those
grocery store produce bag ties

he looked like elijah
come back to life – if
elijah ever looked like
a strange little mouse

hey stranger where are
you from says my best
friend freddy flea

nowhere says he
with a nod to me

nowhere asks freddy
that can t be – surely you
mean you must be from
somewhere – just nowhere
in this vicinity

nope – i m from nowhere
says he with a certain amount
of finality

you can t be from nowhere
says me you have to be from
somewhere

not if i m from nowhere –
which is totally different –
almost the exact opposite
of somewhere

are you saying there s a
place called nowhere
says me

well is there a place
called somewhere
asks he

i don t think so
says freddy to me

then maybe somewhere
is nowhere after all
says the weird little stranger

boss we were a bit confused
so i decided to ask him
his name –

nobody says he
so you re mr nobody says me

no i m just nobody

but you have to be somebody

naw he lives across the street
from me in somewhere

but how can anybody be nobody
that s impossible says me

you re right – anybody can t be
nobody cause i m nobody and
anybody lives in anywhere

he can t live anywhere
he has to live somewhere

no somebody lives in somewhere
anybody lives in anywhere

so you re nobody but why are you here

i m not here – i m nowhere
if you re not here

then how come i can see you
you re a little mouse – a little
something – and you re here
no you re wrong says he
i m nobody and i m nowhere

if you see something
you re somewhere – and not
with me in nowhere
all right says me
exasperatedly
i m looking at nobody
standing nowhere telling me
nothing – is that right

that s it – you ve got it

what good does it do me
well you ve come to the point
of most christians and churches
these days that involve four
main characters

and what is that says me
and freddy simultaneously

those four characters are
everybody
somebody
anybody
and me nobody –
and usually i m the only fellow left

what do you mean says me

it s just like the old saying –
when there s a job to be done
everybody says anybody can
do it and leaves it for
somebody to do it but
nobody winds up doing it

and that s me – nobody
from nowhere doing nothing
about anything
amos

p s – boss talking to nobody about
nothing can be awfully frustrating
not to mention being a mind-bending
tongue-tangling experience