A view from under the pew: Spooky superstitions

Editor’s note: In the aftermath of Halloween, Amos requested a re-run of his favorite Halloween column. Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

 

spooky superstitions

 

weird things have been

happening to me recently boss

it s like some black cat

has been planning my

things-to-do list

 

first of all i didn t

want to get out of bed

especially after last

night s dream  i dreamed

of an invasion of alien

black cats who had a

secret sonar system to

ferret out little mice

like me boss

 

then i tried to tiptoe

past the custodian while

he was mopping the kitchen

floor but he dumped water

all over me

 

while i was shaking myself

dry my tail swished around

and found the nearest

electrical outlet – and

no this is not my new

hairstyle – so what if i look

like a frizzy tennis ball

 

i had just about decided

to leave the animal kingdom

for a nice cave in yellowstone

park when georgie the gypsy

moth came flittering by

 

it s spooky ole halloween

amos he sang almost

joyfully what happened

to you my fuzzy friend you

look like the fattest hairy

caterpillar i ve ever seen

 

thanks a lot says i you re

an awfully cheerful soul

i thought all gypsy moths

were a superstitious lot

it looks like we ve had a real

doozy of a halloween

 

aw you shouldn t let scary

images of witches on

broomsticks or ghoulish

monsters frighten you nor

should you worry about

such things as broken mirrors

or black cats crossing your

path as being bad luck either

 

as far as i m concerned any

cat crossing my path is

bad luck says i are you

saying you don t

 

i used to be the most scared

superstitious gypsy moth

in the universe he said

 

so how did you overcome it

i asked how did get past all

the fear all the anxiety and all

the looking over your shoulder

 

it wasn t easy nor was it

overnight said he but you

might say it happened when

i saw the light

 

saw what light i asked

 

the light of jesus and his

love for me

 

but how can that be – what is

it about jesus love that sets

you free says me

 

first of all he s lord of all

nothing happens without his

call he s the king of every

situation ain t no surprises

at his station he brings good

out of bad turns your sad

into glad

 

jesus is the one who redeems

evil and transforms it into

the things that build us up

and cause us to rejoice inside

 

you know what boss he

was right the church pew

underworld was having a

masquerade party today

and i went as an electrified

glow worm i won first

prize – a sleek looking

new catamaran – it s really

the cat s meow boss

 

amos