amos the churchmouse: the great marcellus diversion

Gary Mitchell

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

the great marcellus diversion

marcellus the mangy
ungodly cat has been
running amuck here boss
terrorizing little mice
hamsters guinea pigs and
even experimental white
rats like willifred

in fact boss we little mice
kept hidden away in our little
cramped mousey corners
scarcely daring to breathe
much less take a stroll to the
kitchen grocery store

something s gotta be done
says willifred the white rat
on his soapbox in the corner
of the bugtussle town hall we
need someone to divert
marcellus s attention elsewhere
so we can get on with our lives

hear hear says all the other
mice and small songbirds known
affectionately as the tweety
fan club

then willifred the white rat
made a nomination that made
the hairs stand up on my little
goose-bumped neck – because
of his great creativity and
ingenuity i nominate amos to
create the marcellus diversion
for the rest of us

hear hear says all the other
mice and small songbirds again

no no says me but nobody
paid any mind to me at the time

it was decided that i would
initiate the great diversionary
tactic at midnight that night
but boss i had no idea what
to do so i went to seek some
serious advice

first i sought out charlotte
the wondrous web-making
spider and of course she
told me to knit the world s
largest cat web
cat web says me i never
heard of a cat web

that s because nobody s
ever done it before – you
could create the world s
first one charlotte says

mice don t create webs
says me i can t do something
like that and off i went to
see ollie the otter

build a big ol cat dam says he

cat dam says me how do
you make a cat dam

first you have to find a
river and get the cat to
follow in the water

i don t think that s
gonna happen says me
so off i went to sulk in
grandiose pity

midnight came and i
hesitantly edged out of my
little mousey hole searching
the room for mean ol mangy
marcellus