a view from under the pew: a night s dark deep hole

Gary Mitchell

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

a night s dark deep hole

boss i may have told you this
but you should never eat
day-old pizza slices leftover
from a church youth party
it creates strange visions -
and not those of the biblical
sort

last night i went to sleep
in my little matchbox bed
and immediately dreamed
of falling into a dark deep
hole in the earth the fall
was punctuated by bursts
of fireworks that transformed
into snarling alley cat faces

suddenly there was a big
flash of light and i found
myself trying to wade
through a melted chocolate
bar to get to a dangling
piece of gourmet swiss
cheese held just beyond
me by green aliens from
roswell

indiana jones never had it
this bad says me still trudging
through chocolate that was
rapidly turning into molasses

deciding that no cheese
was worth that kind of struggle
i suddenly found myself at the
end of no mouse land being
chased by a really angry
runaway ferris wheel

at the edge of the cliff where
no mouse land ends there was
a circus ringmaster who kept
handing out tickets and saying
go directly to the circus
do not pass go do not collect
two hundred dollars and do
not feed the elephants or the
mice

immediately boss a big gray
elephant swung through the
trees on a grapevine to
rescue me and take me to
a for he s a jolly good mouse
party sponsored by the
alley cats for a better
society

the cats kept trying to kill
me with kindness boss
they tried to feed me a
big bite of cake but i kept
refusing it because i knew
that it would blow me up
and i would eventually be
served as happy birthday
mouse pate to the world s
feline population

no no no they would purr
with their whiskered grins
we want to be your friend
we want to play games with
you and love you to the very
end

for some reason boss i didn t
believe them then it occurred
to me that i was just like
peter on the rooftop in acts
having visions of clean and
unclean animals

i was just on the verge of
deciding to take a bite of the
cake when freddie the flea
landed right in the middle of
my tummy and kept hopping
up and down

wake up wake up amos he was
yelling and bouncing up and
down

why what s the matter
says i

well besides your snoring
you re yelling and screaming
and tossing and turning and
you re keeping the whole
church pew underworld awake
and miserable

visions and dreams are one
thing boss and can often
come from the lord but
nightmares are something
else like i said don t ever
eat day-old pizza leftover
from a church youth party