Dec. 4, 2008

HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody?

• New York Giants star Plaxico Burress was arrested Monday for carrying an unlicensed gun in a nightclub. He shot himself in the leg to keep from spilling his drink. He lost a lot of blood but luckily John Daly was a perfect match for a blood transfusion.

• Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis came under heavy fire Thursday from alumni. They are mortified. He’s losing games, he’s not getting top recruits and worst of all, scientists just discovered that the English and the Irish share the same Y-chromosome.

• Hillary Clinton was nominated Monday to become the country’s next Secretary of State. Her job will be to improve America’s ranking in the world. Germany remains number one in the poll despite its last two losses, due to their strength of schedule.