a view from under the pew: amos hears the lady canaries

By Gary Mitchell: Religion columnist

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

amos hears the lady canaries

boss i couldn t believe it
i was so excited
the four lady canaries were
coming to little bugtussle
to sing

like one of the performers
said bugtussle isn t the
end of the earth but you
can see it from here

still they were here
anyway – the four
lady canaries – that award-
winning quartet that had
nine number one hits
in the church pew
underworld in the last
two years – and here they
were in all their harmony
and sunshiny beauty

when we arrived at our
tinpan alley auditorium
just behind nanny graygoat s
greasy spoon diner -
parenthesis here boss –
garbage cans filled to
varying levels make great
acoustics – not to mention
the dramatic effects that
neon lights reflecting
off the oil spots in the
alley make – end
parenthesis here boss –
the whole stage area was
filled with fog and smoke

it was great but i couldn t
figure out which aisle or
seat i was supposed to sit
in and i tripped over clara
centipede s multiple feet
and fell into polly porcupine

since it was a christian
concert everyone politely
de-needled me just before
the music started

louie the songdog was hunched
forward in the seat in front of
sammy salamander and when
the singing started so did louie s
tail