By Kevin Wilson
To promote the Philadelphia 76ers making the NBA playoffs, a Philadelphia gas station offered gas for 76 cents a gallon. The promotion started at noon Friday, and cars lined the block as early as 6:30 a.m.
I like cheap gas as much as anybody else, but you know what I like more? Not being stuck in line for nearly six hours.
I won’t say what I drive, but its fuel tank holds 14 gallons if it’s bone dry. That promotion would save me $41.02 (gas was normally $3.69 at that station, a difference of $2.93 per gallon).
I wonder if that’s worth six hours. I’m just imagining two guys working an $8/hour job —one who got in line and one who didn’t.
I present the one-act play, “Why Are You So Tired?”
(Setting: STEVE and BILL are at the water cooler.)
STEVE: Hey, Bill, why are you so tired?
BILL: Got up at 6 a.m., then drove 20 minutes for 76-cent gas.
STEVE: Oh, so that’s why you didn’t want to hang out last night. Too bad, Stacy really wanted to see you. How much did you save?
BILL: I bought 12 gallons, so I figure I saved myself about $35.
STEVE: What did you do with your new-found wealth?
BILL: I felt kinda lucky, so I bought $20 in lottery tickets. Didn’t win, but I still made $15. What did you do today?
STEVE: Cleaned my apartment, did some reading, had a friend over for lunch. I’d pretty much ran out of things to do, but the boss called and asked me to come in two hours early. (Uncomfortable pause) Guess I made $15 too.
Act Two could feature Bill driving around the city for 30 minutes, then calling Steve to brag about finding a station that saved him 3