July 14, 2006 Amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

A reader recently requested that Amos rerun his account of meeting Davy Crickett. It seems he decided to try out Willifred the white rat’s experimental tiny time machine. So Willifred installed his Tiny Time Traveler on Amos’ 1957 Cheeserolet motorized matchbox. The moment Amos climbed in, he found himself in San Antonio, Texas, in the mid-1830s.

the ballad of davy crickett

boss when i hit the ground i
was astounded by an
unusual sight — a bowlegged
cricket with a ratty coonskin
cap was twanging away on a
modified one-string ukelele

this is what he sang

born on a trash heap
in tennessee
a bug so poor in debt
and poverty

hopped from the heap
and into luxury
killed him a flea
when he was only three

dav-y dav-y crickett
bug of the wild frontier

went to congress
to save humanity
stirred up strife
and risked his dignity

went out west to
fight the bugs and fleas
then wrestled cobras and
made some history

dav-y dav-y crickett
bug of the wild frontier

he quit twanging on his
ukelele looked me up and
down and said what can
i do for you stranger

are you really davy
crickett says me a bit
incredulously

that i am son says he
suspiciously are you a
bill collector

no not me says me
i m just a little
wandering churchmouse

well i don t have much
to do with religion says
he ever since a gypsy
moth told me that church
would probably be the
death of me

i wouldn t take it that
way says me besides
church is not the essence
of religion — jesus is — and
he can set you free from
death fear and anxiety

what makes you think
so says he besides i m
not afeered of death
scorpions snakes or
anything

that may be true says
me but everybody needs
the peace and security
of jesus in their mind
and heart
he gives you life joy
and peace that even
throughout eternity
will never part

i ll have to think on
that some and give it
my utmost consideration
says davy and then
he picked up his ukelele
and started strumming and
singing again

dav-y dav-y crickett
bug of the wild frontier

boss i don t know if davy
changed or met jesus
somewhere along the way
but he must have overcome
his fear of churches by
the time he made it to
the alamo in eighteen-
thirty-six

amos

p s — see you next week boss
that is if i don t get caught
in some kind of time warp in
this tiny time machine
by the way willifred needs
to do something about the
size of this thing — it crunches
my tail and i come out with
more kinks than i started with