State mottos: Get ‘em while they’re relevant

By Bob Huber: CNJ Columnist

Every state has an antiquated motto, usually a timely little statement such as “Don’t Tread on Me.” But no one understands them except local historians, and you know how they are.

So as a public service we here at the Institute for Better Slogans are fostering more up-to-date expressions such as:  “We Put the Fun in Fundamentalism” (Georgia), and “Two Billion Years Tsunami Free” (Indiana).

If any of you states out there think you deserve a new motto, we’ll be happy to oblige. Here are samples of our latest slogans for your perusal. 

Alabama: “Yes, We Have Electricity.”

Arizona: “But It’s Dry Heat.”

Colorado: “If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother.”

Florida: “Ask About Our Streamlined Ballots.”

Iowa: “We Do Weird Things with Corn.”

Kentucky: “Five Million Residents, 50 Surnames.”

Maine: “It’s Really Cold, But Lobsters are Cheap.”

Michigan: “First Line of Defense Against Marauding Canadians.”

Massachusetts: “Our Senators Swim Good.”

Mississippi: “Come Visit, and Feel Better About Your State.”

Louisiana: “Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work.”

Montana: “Land of Big Sky and the Unabomber.”

North Carolina: “Tobacco is a Vegetable.”

Oklahoma: “Like the Musical Without the Music.”

Tennessee: “Home of the Exciting and Colorful Al Gore Museum.”

Nebraska: “Ask About Our State Motto Contest.”

Wisconsin: “Come Cut Your Cheese.”

West Virginia: “Land of Happy Coal Miners’ Daughters.”

New Mexico: “Se Hable Ingles.”

South Dakota: “Warmer Than North Dakota.”

North Dakota: “Warmer Than Alaska.”

Alaska: “You Don’t Need a Refrigerator.”

District of Columbia: “Work-Free Drug Place.”

Oregon: “Thanksgiving Stuffed Owl.”

New York: “Home of ‘Law and Order.’”

Ohio: “At Least You’re Not in Pennsylvania.”

Pennsylvania: “Cook with Coal.”

Kansas: “We Name All Our Dogs TOTO.”

Hawaii: “Haka Tiki Mou Sha-ami Leeki Toru.”

Idaho: “More than Just Potatoes.”

Illinois: “Please, Don’t Pronounce the ‘S.’”

New Hampshire: “Leave Us Alone!”

Utah: “Our Jesus is Bigger than your Jesus.”

Texas: “These Boots Ain’t Made for Walking.”

Arkansas: “Literacy Ain’t Everything.”

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