2/24 amos

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.
laps in the sun

boss i ve said it before
and i ll say it again –
life ain t easy beneath
a cushionless church pew
in fact it seems that life
is getting more hectic
and more insane with
every weird day that
rolls around
take for example the
other day marcellus the
cat was on the loose
terrorizing the church
pew underworld
my writing deadlines
were piling up and i had
mousy writer s block and
besides that the church
custodian kept trying to
run me over with his
mop bucket
finally i caught my breath
while cowering in the
kitchen closet and i
decided i had had enough

i stamped my little left
paw and shook my silhouetted
fist against the sunset – if
there ever was one in a
broom closet – like scarlet
o hare did in that great
film classic – gone out the
window – or something like
that – and i shouted out to
nobody in particular –
i ll never turn down
cheesecake again – or some
other quote equally brilliant
so i ran to jump in my 57
cheese-rolet equipped with
my friend willifred the
white rat s tiny time traveler
once i got in i spun the
dial to an earlier simpler
time without caring which
simpler era we landed in
when i climbed out of my
little motorized matchbox
boss i was nearly run over
by a large hairy grumpy
gray mouse in a nomad s tunic
hey you – get outta my way
says he nearly denting
my cheese-rolet
where are you going in such
an all-fired hurry says me
with eyes all blood-shot
and blurry
god s making me learn a
lesson says he now go away
you ll not want to be messing
with me
what lesson says i
how to run fast and die
so he stops boss and says this
here is mount sinai where
god gave us his laws to live
by – and when we break one
it stops all our fun and we
have to run laps in the sun
till our lessons are done
and what lesson are you trying
to learn says me before the
sun s rays make you burn
i have this nasty habit of
griping and grumbling too
much says he
i do all right but then the
plan goes crumbling and i
see our leaders stumbling
and then my tummy starts
rumbling and all we have
to eat is manna dumplings

so i start grumbling and then i
have to take another lap
around mount sinai – and it
ain t no cherry pie either
you mean cake walk says i
whatever says he
i ll probably be running these
laps throughout eternity
as he took off in another cloud
of dust boss it seemed to me
that life always has its tests
and real life may never be
simple or easy wherever
we go – especially if it s
another dusty trail around
mount sinai