10/7 amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse who types by hopping on the keyboard shift keys. He can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks — except dashes and hyphens.

the tale of colombo bug

with it being near
columbus day boss
jenny the girl mouse
next door and i decided
to borrow willifred the
white rat s tiny time
traveler machine and
take a trip back to 1492

so we popped the tiny
time traveler onto my
57 cheese-rolet
hit the switch and off
we flew – back in time
and back into space to
1502 instead of 1492

jenny and i tried to
move the lever farther
back but it wouldn t
budge so here we were
stuck in time ten
years too late – just
a little behind

but with nothing else
to do boss jenny and i
got out to look
around the place

it was a different
world all right – all
the bugs and little mice
were decked out in their
finest renaissance wear
mouseketeer hats pantaloons
and gorgeous ruffled gowns
why they should have all
been wearing regal crowns

looky there says me
pointing to an old
decrepit water bug
hobbling along with a
crooked cane
what a weird-looking bug

they re all weird-looking
bugs says jenny to me
it s probably just some
old wino bug roaming
the streets – let s go

no wait a minute
says me with a certain
amount of curiosity
hey grandpa bug whatcha
doing over there

what s that says the
old water bug i m looking
for my ship the nina
have you seen her anywhere

a ship – way out here –
asks jenny incredulously
then she turns to me and
says – i tell ya he s looney
tunes let s get away from here

naw wait a minute longer
says me – no mister water
bug we haven t seen any ship
but we re looking for an old
sailor a sea captain named
columbus have you seen him

the old water bug stops a
moment and turns clear-eyed
to jenny and me

that s a good question says he
a lot of folks confuse him with
me and well they should
for you see i m the one who
guided him across the sea –
well actually the lord and me

when he was lost or facing
mutiny he would stare out
into the sea – and there i d
be swimming along happy
and free so he just kept on
course and followed me

i m the leader to the new
world don t you see – colombo
the water bug not columbus
the klutz captain who wouldn t
hardly stick his feet in the sea

but no one believes me – they
call me colombo the kooky
cockroach rather than the
sea-worthy creature i be

in my heart i know who i
am – the admiral s guide over
the ocean sea – the lord s
little navigator in the course
of human history

boss it s plain little colombo
needs some recognition but
it s enough to realize we can
all be tools in the master s
hand – whether for glory or