By Tova Fruchtman: CNJ staff writer
Bill Guild, 56, has a theory he’s come to trust when it comes to dating.
Instincts, he says, you have to trust your instincts.
“One thing I’ve learned is if your not getting good vibrations from someone move on right then and there. You can’t change people. People don’t change,” said Guild, a longtime Clovis resident who has been divorced twice.
Guild met the woman he’s currently dating at Singles Living in Christ, a group that meets every Friday night at the First Church of the Nazarene. He is the treasurer of the group and his girlfriend is the secretary.
Guild said he joined the group because he was “looking for something other than the bar scene to meet people and (he wanted) to learn more about God and his teachings.”
But not all Clovis singles are as lucky as Guild.
According to 26-year-old Gloria Orozco, who has been living in Albuquerque for the past 10 months but is moving back to Clovis on Nov. 1, dating in Clovis can be tough.
“The only place really to meet people is through friends or at (a local bar),” she said.
“It’s hard especially for me because I know a lot of people. If you start dating someone there has always been someone else who dated them in a small town,” she added.
Guild agreed that people knowing too many people can make dating hard.
“The hardest part about being single in a small town is … rumors and gossip,” he said.
Dave Cates co-created “Musical Chairs Dating” in Clovis to try to help singles meet people more easily.
“I have a lot of friends. They’re always complaining about not having a way to meet quality people,” Cates said. “It’s hard to meet people in our age range that we want to date. We thought it would be something different for Clovis.”
Although Cates said their rates were better than similar programs around the country, Clovis singles weren’t buying it, and their first event had to be postponed until Nov. 4.
Guild suggested another way to meet people — dancing.
“I finally got old enough and wise enough to know it doesn’t make any difference if you can dance. A lady wants to dance with you whether you can dance of not,” he said.
He also said that he learned rejection isn’t the end of the world.
“If one says ‘no,’ 10 more will say ‘yes,’” he said.
After his second divorce in 1995, Guild said he didn’t think the dating scene had changed much since the 70s.
“Basically it’s boy meets girl and the sparks fly or they don’t.”
For now, Guild seems to be content with dating. “I like dating better than I like being married. I like my privacy,” Guild said.
His advice on dating: “Go slow. Hold back on the sex and go in with a completely open mind on everything and don’t be blinded by lust. A lot of people in this town get married for lust.”