chased by oranges

by amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

boss i was minding my own
business the other day
strolling through the
church kitchen when
marcellus the ugly
ungodly cat scampered
across the counter in
pursuit of hapless homer
hummingbird

homer made it safely
out the kitchen window
into the rose garden but
marcellus stormed about
knocking a sack of oranges
onto the floor right
behind me boss

instantly life became a
blur of speed an avalanche
of oranges cascaded after
me and boss i ran as fast
as my little tippytoes
could take me

suddenly there in front
of me clara centipede was
wobbling oh-so-slowly over
to sara spider s discount
store next to the kitchen
garbage can

get outta the way clara
says me breathlessly

poor clara s thirty-two
feet went clickety-clack
clickety-clack on the
kitchen floor but she wasn t
getting anywhere

get outta the way clara
before it s too late says me
or we ll both be turned into
orange marmelade

but poor clara was panicky
boss her antennae were
waving one way and her tiny
feet were spreadeagled
fifty different other ways

in a breath-taking moment
i rushed past clara and pushed
her across the slick kitchen
floor to the kitchen sink door

thanks says clara as she
tried to regroup her little
feet under her long slim body

you re welcome says me
running frightfully
is there any way to stop
these orange boulders
before i faint from
exhaustion

i don t know says she i ll
try to think about it
eventually

by then boss lefty the
leaping lizard came into
view a look of horror
passed over his flint-like
lizard countenance

get outta the way lefty
says me it s an orange
calamity heading our way

but lefty regained his
composure deftly leaping
over each orange as it
barreled his way
and gave me a chance
to dive behind a mop
bucket in comparative
safety

hey amos this is fun
what neat games you
play says he can we
do this again another day
say next tuesday

boss i don t know about
you but methinks our
friend lefty has a warped
idea of fun and games

amos